The word Moustache (Mustache is the American version, so I will use that here) is a derivative of several older European language words meaning, well, mustache. It is so perfect, that it is itself. Like a divine revelation, it just simply was. Some cave dweller looked at his reflection in a deep pool of water and uttered "Glorg has good mustache" right before he was eaten by a pre-historic alligator the size of a Hummer H3, not the real hummer; that would be so large as to strain credulity. Luckily his hunting partner heard his grunts. And thus, the first polysyllabic word, Mustache, was uttered. It's only a theory.
Hurtling through the ages, I assume mustaches were prevalent universally as a lack of cutting tools encouraged their growth. Man discovered fire, fire led to stone and iron tools and eventually, shaving started. This was especially good for the bearded ladies who could now be distinguished from their brothers. According to http://www.moderngent.com/history_of_shaving/history_of_shaving.php, at first, regular shaving was utilized as a way to prevent opponents from grabbing the beard in battle. Then, as this practice continued, Barbarians (the unbarbered) were the warriors with facial hair. It spread from the warrior ranks and shaving became, historically, a common practice with the ladies and gents.
Beau Brummel and Victorian fashion sense made shaving more commonplace and almost a necessity for men to be accepted in Europe. Think of pictures of the founding fathers Washington, Jefferson, Adams, Hamilton, Franklin: all dandies with powdered wigs and no hint of facial hair. In fact, the portraits of these great men suggest that their skin was pink with the hue of razor burn and hard cider.
Then came the civil war and there was facial hair everywhere. Lincoln, Grant, Lee, Hooker, Burnside (where sideburns comes from), these warriors brought facial hair back into the mainstream. Certain styles of facial hair became fashionable. Think about it. All our presidents with mustaches were filled to the brim with badassery. Lincoln, Grant, Roosevelt (Teddy). Woodrow Wilson and Jimmy Carter? No mustache. But Carter's breath always smelled like peanuts and he legalized home brewing, so that was good.
Now the mustache, and the beard and almost all facial hair is commonplace and accepted. Even Frida Kahlo rocked a mustache. I am going to rate my top five mustaches.
5. The Magnum: Nuff Said.
There are of course, the porn mustache, the pencil thin and, infamously the Hitler (shoulda been the Charlie Chaplin, but that bastard Adolph ruined it). Men from all walks of life sport the mustache, from Jesus to Buddha, Martin Luther King to Evander Holyfield, John Waters to Johnny Depp, Clarence Thomas and even Superman.
Me? My mustache looks like crap. A cross between a Mongolian raider and a 12 year old boy. But to the other mustachioed fellas, i say keep the Barbarian tradition alive.
*Note. there is a great Mustache piece found here. http://artofmanliness.com/2009/09/08/a-treatise-on-the-mustache/ ;it's funny comprehensive and well written.
